It’s the next day. This day will be good. I’m wearing a new sweater. This one is gray and tight. It has a black curly octagon-like figure on the chest. It looks terrific. I’m on the stairways to the office. As usual, I do double-steps. It gets me into the rhythm. I’m ready to rumble and move fast.
I come into my office and there I am immediately shocked. Maria is crying. Quite loudly. She is almost uncontrollable. It’s only 09:30, but she is already crying. I don’t understand. What has happened? As soon as she sees me, she gets embarrassed and starts to hassle with paper towels and make-up. She is so confused. I ask: “Maria, why are you crying? What has happened?”
Maria: “I’m so sorry, Petr. I cannot help it. I was told that I cannot work here anymore. I don’t meet the Protocol 124P and I must leave the office by noon. I’m so devastated. Where will I get the money? How will I live?”
Now I’m twice as shocked and even confused. I have never heard of this Protocol 124P and cannot understand how can it be a cause for firing. Without asking from me? Me! Who dared to fire MY team member? This person will regret this day for the rest of his life! Once I find him! “Maria, please explain what has happened?” I try to be calm, but I’m upset, so I’m not calm.
Maria: “Tatiana Viktorovna came her 30 minutes ago and informed me about this. She brought the documents which outlined the deviation from the protocol. She said I have to leave today before lunch. She gave me papers to sign that relieve me of my duty. As there was no choice, I signed them and now I have no job.”
“You signed the papers?! Why did you do that? I’m your supervisor, only I can put forth such documents!” She is such a stupid cow. She is 21. She does not know anything. She is so timid that that fat old hag Tatiana was able to scare her into signing an end of employment document.
Maria: “Petr, what could I have done? She comes here, I’m working on my computer. She shows me the company’s Book of Conduct and informs me of the violation. She makes it really clear that this is more than enough for being fire. I start to cry. She says to stop crying. Calls me a baby and shoves me. I start to cry more. She puts the papers under my face and pushes a pen into my hand. “Sign,” she shouts sternly. I’m shaking, crying, confused. I thought I was doing a good job. I did not know about this protocol. I have been in confusion this whole time. I cannot question Tatiana, how can I? She is a Senior Manager of Office Management.”
“Of Office Management?!” I scream out loud in shock. How come? I thought she was in Quality Control. Since when has she moved there?
Maria: “This promotion was announced last week in an email, did you not read it?”
No, I did not fucking read it! It was sent by that schwein-cock Dima. DIMA!! It’s him. He made this! Oh, this is not going to end here! I throw the suitcase that I had still in my hand onto the desk and rip off my coat and throw it on the chair and blast out of the office. Maria does not know what happened. I am furious. Has Dima lost his fucking senses? I’m so upset. I go immediately to his office. It’s on the fifth floor. I take the steps and this time I fucking run them up. I’m practically flying like Rocky. I’m also about to punch him just like Rocky.
I enter the fifth floor. The hallway is not long, about 30 meters. Dima’s office is at the end, on the right side. I stride towards it with menace. But quite soon I see that his door is closed. And there’s a paper on his door that says “Dmitry Sergeyevich Tretyakov is out of office. He will be back on Tuesday.” It’s fucking Friday! Unbelievable. But this will not stop here. “Tatiana!” I yell. I know she is in the next office.
“Please explain! Please. What is going on?”
Tatiana: “What is going on with what, Petr? You must be more specific.” She does not look at me. She is sitting in her office chair. Her hair is tall, just like Alla Pugachova used to have it in the 80’s. Her body fits snuggly into the office chair as she is a large woman.
“Specific? Do not play the fool! I don’t need to be more specific, you can guess with your head what may have upset me?”
Tatiana swings her chair with slight difficulty towards me and looks up. She has an elated smirk on her face: “Oh Petr, this a civil company, you do not need to scream.”
As she says this, I feel like screaming five times louder. She tries to provoke me. I do all I can to not to explode completely. “You have fired my subordinate without telling me! You have fired Maria! How did you think I would act when you do such a thing without telling me? She has just learned to do work, she has only been here three months. Please, Tatiana, do me a favor and explain what is happening?”
Tatiana: “It’s all very simple,” she says. Her calmness has not changed. She is like bureaucrat from a Kafka novel that only knows her own role and revels in executing it flawlessly. “The Protocol 124P is quite straightforward. Your assistant did not meet the criteria specified in it.”
I explode: “Maria is not my assistant! She is a highly competent specialist who is a valuable member of my team. They don’t grow Maria’s on trees like they may the employees who work in Office Management!”
This one got under her skin and her left eye started to twitch. She is a simple but proud woman who takes her job very seriously. Especially since she was recently promoted by Dima and is now doing her utmost to impress her new boss. Her previous boss was a true harasser. He enjoyed creating mundane tasks for his team and clocking the execution time on them. A director of superior caliber.
Tatiana: “Now, Petr Vladimirovich! This is an important and confidential matter, and I’m under no obligation to tell you what is the violation your subordinate did. Only Mr. Tretyakov can divulge it. If I were you, I would rather focus under whose management did this specialist misbehave, and should there maybe be an inquiry into the manager’s conduct?”
Her loosely veiled threat took me by surprise. She is truly emboldened. Dima must have instructed her to act bullishly towards me. Dima the smelly badger.
I see the Book of Conduct on Tatiana’s desk and go after it with a flash-like speed. I enter her sacred workspace territory and she does not like it. She tries to grab it, but her puffed hands cannot move fast. I stuffed it under my armpit. “I will review this curious protocol of yours! I will get to the bottom of this. This is insanity. Tell your boss that.”
As I leave her office, I smash the door closed even though it had been open when I walked in. Let her marinate there a bit and get some exercise by moving her fat ass from the chair. I must plan now my next move. The bets have increased. Dima has not gone down but unleashed his own attack. Who does he think he is? His brainpower is on the level of a dog. And that is insulting to the dogs of all kind. I will not sleep until this matter is resolved. That is certain!
Chapter 8: When Book of Conduct Meets Fat Hands